Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

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Paladin
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Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Paladin » Sat Aug 23, 2014 6:06 pm

Well, I was invited back to a club nearby to once again help teach a free, introductory women's self defense seminar. The Sifu is a great friend of mine, we've trained and worked jobs together, and have just gotten to be close friends. So I'll help him out whenever he asks.

I appreciated that he saw this short (2hr) class as somewhat of a teaser to reach more students, but I took my job very seriously, after all, this is life and death. Even if a lot of McDojos treat it like a game or casual activity--promising self defense but delivering life-threatening bullshit.

My job was to co-teach the physical techniques, (about 4 altogether) and then I told him I planned to teach on the Psychology of Violence and Self Defense, because without programming the software, all the hardware (physical skills) would be useless, and worse, might instill a false sense of confidence. He wanted the physical to go first, so it would start out fun, but I hope to prevail on him to let me take the lead with mindset next time. Just makes more sense to me, anyway.

We had visited a few weeks back on this forum about how challenging it is to impart the warrior spirit, particularly to clueless, non-combative types, such as the housewives and young college students we had today. I mentioned to them it's a lot like offering swimming lessons to a bunch of people deathly afraid of the water.

I borrowed themes from all over in my shortened curriculum, including great stuff posted here, and from my friend Mike Gillette, Kelly McCann, our old friend Calgacus, even LtC Dave Grossman, Musashi and who knows what else was thrown into the pot.

But let me comment that their earlier questions all dealt with "how to I escape this hold?" "what do I do if a guy is sitting on my chest punching me?"

I was able to explain that their questions dealt with the last 5% of the continuum, if everything else I was teaching went wrong for them, ie, you didn't identify the potential threat early enough, you didn't leave, you didn't dissuade him verbally from continuing, you couldn't take him down with a weapon, you couldn't hurt him enough with your body weapons to give an opportunity to retreat, and here you are with some douchebag beating on you.

So I spent a good deal of time on two of my favorite subjects: situational awareness and recognizing pre-incident indicators or PINs, and how to trust your gut and react accordingly. I also walked them through a few actual scenarios out of our local news of how to employ their tuition and situational awareness to avoid trouble, and how when you do everything right and still end up having to go into mother-bear mode on your attacker.

I spent a fair bit of time teaching them how to open their minds to accept that personal violence is real, how to face it and plan for it. How preparation lessens fear and improves performance, much like visualization drills. Examine the enemy and he always shrinks in size. How to open up neural pathways so that when violence comes knocking, they are likely to react immediately, and they don't lose precious time with cerebral overload, denial, freezing up in a panic, etc. I quite gravely told them with examples that violence is nasty, scary and dangerous, but nowhere near as bad as denial, surrender and certain defeat.

This was probably the best or most important part of the time so far as I was concerned.

But the gals were tracking with me very well, and a couple of them came up at the end and thanked me with tears in their eyes. Either they appreciated it or were bored to tears. :shhh: Payment enough right there.

We had a dozen gals, aged 18 to about 40.

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Mr.Steel
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Mr.Steel » Sat Aug 23, 2014 11:25 pm

Paladins Quote

I also walked them through a few actual scenarios out of our local news of how to employ their tuition and situational awareness to avoid trouble, and how when you do everything right and still end up having to go into mother-bear mode on your attacker.


Lee Morrison on Charlie Nelson

Charlie Nelson taking local news and walking folks through it

Charlie would collect a library of news paper cuttings that he would post all over the walls of his school, incidents of muggings, murders and the victims who should and could have survived if they had a little knowledge of workable Self-defense. Charlie would quote:

''The best defense of all is to avoid trouble whenever possible. But an increasing number of people are discovering that trouble finds them.''


Very interesting read and so useful, from the exact match above I am sure Charlie nelson would have approved . :clap:

But one thing you should know , our old friend Calgacus sadly lost his mind and grip on reality. He is now in a care home run by the Socially Inept Institute , last I saw him he asked could I remove him and take him to live in a shaolin temple on bread and water...poor lad , such a demise :mozilla_wink:

oh, and I am stealing this one

I mentioned to them it's a lot like offering swimming lessons to a bunch of people deathly afraid of the water.

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Paladin
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Paladin » Sun Aug 24, 2014 7:36 am

Thanks for looking through my write-up, Mr. Steel. I knew as our resident scholar, you'd want a more thorough discussion, so I wrote it up with more, rather than less info.

I used some of Mike Gillette's concepts from his Psychology of Self Defense dvd he puts out where he has a day with a huge auditorium of ladies at a church retreat. He's a great communicator, and a true BTDT kind of guy.

Sorry to hear about ole Calgacus, he was a favorite around here...
Blessed be the Lord my rock, Who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle! Psalm 144:1
For those who have hunted armed men, training will never be the same.
Help the children of fallen heroes: Please Donate: http://www.specialops.org/

dzab
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby dzab » Sun Aug 24, 2014 6:08 pm

On the money Paladin! Good to see someone focussing on awareness/avoidance stuff rather than just paying lip service to it as most 'self defense' courses do.

gibsonferna
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby gibsonferna » Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:28 pm

Being a woman I am very much interested especially when it comes to self-defense as it would add our end to become more stronger and more independent.
I just wonder, why men likes to carry otf automatic knife.

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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Paladin » Fri Oct 31, 2014 7:40 am

gibsonferna wrote:Being a woman I am very much interested especially when it comes to self-defense as it would add our end to become more stronger and more independent.


What are you interested in seeing in a self defense seminar?
Blessed be the Lord my rock, Who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle! Psalm 144:1
For those who have hunted armed men, training will never be the same.
Help the children of fallen heroes: Please Donate: http://www.specialops.org/

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sculls
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby sculls » Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:20 am

Great job. I think one cannot overestimate the importance of SD classes for women. It is true that most victims of violence are male, but that usually is social violence they helped happen or could have walked away from. Or criminals falling out with colleagues.

Having said that, most victims of (ressource) criminal and of course sexual violence are female. Usually middle aged or old. I e.g. worked the phones for a bank for a summer and in my estimate around 80% of callers who needed their plastic blocked due to theft or robbery were middle aged to old age females.

Ironically, my experience with the SD instruction industry is that men are predominant as clients. And in advanced classes there are practically no women. Women join classes with a different mindset and won't stay long term, they just want to tick the item "do something, anything, for your protection" off their list. Instruction has to accept that and work with it, which means teaching simple techniques and as much practical konwledge as possible in little time.

Thinking about it, reading something from Rory Miller or Marc MacYoung, both of whom I'm parrotting here, would help women more than most of the courses offered. Paladin's excluded, of course.

Unfortunately, most of the industry peddles fear-control to males. Which is bullshit, because fear is a normal and reasonable emotion that in the presence of actual danger can't really be suppressed. Especially when the student lacks social skill ressources to control the situation and the power to compensate that with force. What SD should teach instead is controlling the danger, fear will decrease somehwat with actual competence. Ppl should not care for soiled underwear but for plain survival - physical, psychological, social and legal survival. What is likely to hit me in my area? What can I say, where can I turn for help, what is the best tactic to get out, when should I escalate to force, what level of force is legitimate in a specific situation?

Another thing that bugs me with women SD specifically is "cause pain" tactics like the ubiquituous kick to the groin. Or slaps and scratches. If someone has to use force, it must be to disable the attacker. Just hurting an assailant will only escalate the violence to punishment ("teach a lesson"), make it personal and stop noone.
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Paladin
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Paladin » Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:51 pm

Really good stuff, Sculls. I loved what you said about fear. I've only met one or two guys who simply didn't have the fear genes installed. They were scary good killers. I find for myself that under extreme stress of somebody wanting to kill me or at least shooting at me, my fear tends to come out as getting really angry. How dare this douchebag try to kill me??!!

Here's an update. I've hooked up (professionally speaking) with a retired female police officer who teaches women's handgun and self defense. She has a successful following because like that fat Italian wine-guy from the commercials, she "knows what women want." Or at least what they need and how to deliver it in a way that they seem to enjoy learning.

I've also been invited by a "Level 7" Krav Maga master to co-teach or at least help with a women's self defense course at our nearby state university. I'll have to spend more time with him, but what I've seen is he's a good guy who understands installing software before running the hardware, etc. We'll see where that goes.
Blessed be the Lord my rock, Who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle! Psalm 144:1
For those who have hunted armed men, training will never be the same.
Help the children of fallen heroes: Please Donate: http://www.specialops.org/

tatertot
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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby tatertot » Sat Oct 01, 2016 8:45 am

I was tasked with coming up with a Women's Self Defense class by my Assistant Chief. I know Paladin has put on several of these classes, and was wondering what worked well, and what didn't. Since I am more or less writing the program I have free reign to teach what I want.

My initial thoughts were 2 to 3 hour blocks once a month. I want to focus a good deal of my time on situational awareness, and how to avoid a bad situation altogether, as most people have never developed any of this skillset.

I have trained cops for quite awhile now, and can easily relate to them. I have next to no experience in training non cop women, and I think it will be a good challenge as a teacher.

Any advice is appreciated.

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Re: Free Women's Self Defense Seminar

Postby Paladin » Sun Oct 30, 2016 3:08 pm

I haven't checked this forum in months, maybe a year. Been busy getting a new company off the ground, Everyday Operator Solutions, where we give concealed carry classes, self defense (mostly for women), and have trained several civilians, including housewives, ordinary Joes, and several security guards, former deputies and lots of vets. We're angling for a couple really nice govt contracts at the state level, and the federal.

I'm sure whatever I say will be intuitive, but here are some thoughts.

Women like to be respected, and honored, not talked down to.

Humor and real-life stories teach better than lectures. Bringing in female victims of violence who can tell their story is powerful, too.

Beginning with the known, and moving into the unknown in terms of their knowledge and experience is critical. I use a phrase, "you can't parachunte into this." You have to take steps, starting with what they are familiar and comfortable with, and extending that into the uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

Be sure to incorporate scenarios where they get to practice situational awareness, de-escalation, preemption, and fight-for-your-life defense, in full power, loud and crazy exercises. They need to practice verbal resistance under extreme conditions. [ Physical resistance at full power will require protective gear] When they are ready, make it tough, and if they get a cut lip or sore nose, or whatever, they can wear them as badges of honor.

Where I'm seeing a pretty big demand is teaching women to manage and defend themselves (if necessary) against stalkers, and mostly former boyfriend stalkers. A huge problem. So a lot of the basic things you know about vary your route, keep your head on a swivel, lock your doors and windows, don't zone out on your phone, watch the transitions for possible attack points, (into and out of buildings, cars, etc.) and to practice, practice, practice deploying and then applying their force multiplier,

HTH, good luck. I'd love to hear how the class works out.
Blessed be the Lord my rock, Who trains my hands for war and my fingers for battle! Psalm 144:1
For those who have hunted armed men, training will never be the same.
Help the children of fallen heroes: Please Donate: http://www.specialops.org/


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